Monday, September 14, 2009
Celebrity Deathtember!
...drumroll please
It'll be Madonna and Vince the Shamwow Guy!
Why? Well, first there had to be a relatively expected death. That honor goes to Farrah Fawcett/Ed McMahon (cancer and old age). This spot is where our buddy from such classics as "Roadhouse," "Ghost," and "Dirty Dancing" belongs (pancreatic cancer). RIP Patrick
Next in June came the real bombshell: king of pop/mutant/friend-of-children-everywhere Michael Jackson died. This actually came out of the blue. Madonna fits in here, as she is another world-wide pop icon of the 80's whose death would be a shock, and she's right around the same age. No worries, Kaballah will save her if she's lucky
As sort of an anti-climax, Billy Mays, the coked-out OxyClean/OrangeGlo/whatever the hell else he was selling at the time TV pitchman, went up to that Made-for-TV Store in the sky. It only follows that his mortal enemy (in my mind) is up next. Vince is the Shamwow/Slapchop pitchman-extraordinaire who can sell shitty rags to the masses and yet STILL finds time to beat up hookers. Naturally, the gonorrhea he probably has will take him out, or maybe a deranged pimp/ho is gonna finally finish him off.
There you have it, folks, my celebrity death predictions for September 09
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